The Area Between College Student and “Responsible” Adult
Last night I went out to Fox and Hound in Cordova, TN, to meet up with some friends I haven’t seen since I left for Vermont. I enjoyed the chance to catch up with them and see what they are doing now and how plans have changed since the summer.
What I noticed is that although we are all college graduates now, not one of us has a clear direction about where we are headed. None of us have 5 or 10 year plans. None of us have concrete career goals, except the one who knows what he wants to do just not how to get a job. Transitioning from the college experience to life as a “responsible adult” is fascinating to me, especially now that there seems to be a step in between these two stages.
The step in between carefree college student and responsible bill-paying adult generally involves the individual living at home with their parents again. Sometimes they are unemployed. Sometimes they have a part-time job. Sometimes they even have a full time job, which seems a lot more rare. Whatever the case they are living at home because making it on their own seems too hard or not worth (or possible with) the money they are making.
Too be honest it isn’t a bad idea to go back home after college. In college I swore I would never do it but then I ended up living at home again for a year after I graduated. It wasn’t my favorite experience and it wasn’t the best thing for me in some ways, but it did help me save money and get some things paid off before I moved out to be more or less on my own. Though I went into it feeling like I had somehow failed, I left realizing I had done the smart thing in my situation.
Because of my own experiences I’m a lot more positive and supportive of friends who choose this same path instead of immediately moving out after college. It’s not for everyone but it does seem to be happening a lot more these days. My younger brother who just graduated is planning on moving home, and the two friends I met last night are both currently living at home. It seems like the question is – why not?
I don't think you 'failed'. I too live at home because currently it's impossible for me to pay all expenses alone. Rents are designed for 2 here, so it's difficult to pay them alone.
Good for you! There's no need to rush things, trust me. I learned from experience. In fact, now might be the best time in your life to get out there and experience the world and do some experimenting. Many people do this in the form of travel, but you don't necessarily have to do that. The point is, it's fine to sit back and just think about things for awhile. It's insane how the 'system' works now. We're supposed to make decisions about the rest of our life (college major, etc.) when we're barely out of our teenage years?? Most don't even know who they are at that point.
Appreciate where you are now and enjoy the journey itself! Looking forward to following you.
@Oscar
I don't think I failed either, nor is anyone who decides to take that same path. But when I first was living at home? Yeah, it felt like a failure.
@Nate
Thanks! I totally agree – the "system" is crazy and doesn't allow for any of the trouble people have deciding what they want to do and who they want to be at that time.
i lived with my parents the summer after i graduated college, while i looked for a job. it was really hard for me, since they didnt like me to drive from NH to boston (they knew i am a horrible driver and didnt want me to wreck another car!), and i had no friends in NH. i was super depressed that summer..but i did get free food and to sleep in on days i had no interviews! i was so happy when i got a job, and was able to move into my own place in sept, and get a car, etc… i dont think ive become a ‘responsible adult’ yet though, ten years later… hmm. :)